"I've never been so nervous in my life, " I thought to myself as I pulled out of the office parking lot, and headed towards the highway. "This is stupid...Im gonna make a fool of myself...", but still I kept driving. It was almost as if I couldn't have turned the wheel and headed for home. Like my destination was locked into a navigational computer, and couldnt be changed. I stopped at the gas station, and waited 10 minutes for stupid people to finish and I could get to a pump. Full tank... I called Mindy, (my sons Aunt) and told her that she could cancel on me now, and I would understand. Secretly, down deep, I was hoping I would hear what came next.
"NO, " she practically yelled in the phone. A pause. A breath on her end of the phone. "Dammit, you need this. You need to go out, have adult fun, lose some stress... get away. So go... we'll call you if there's a problem."
I called Weets, and let her know I was on my way.
I pressed end on my cell phone. My hands shook slightly on the steering wheel. The sun was setting. A perfect orange glow in the midwest evening lit the side of my face. I turned on the classic rock station, and out of the speakers.... this song played
Pink Floyd
Comfortably Numb
Hello, hello, hello Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, come on down,
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.
Relax, relax, relax
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move, but I cant hear what youre saying.
When I was a child, I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now Ive got that feeling once again.
I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
[guitar solo] I have become comfortably numb.
OK, OK, OK
Just a little pin prick.
Therell be no more, aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh,
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up, stand up, stand up.
I do believe it's working good.
Thatll keep you going for the show.
Come on, its time to go.
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move, but I cant hear what youre saying.
When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look, but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child has grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
I looked at the clock.. 5:34pm. I hit the zero-out button on the trip/mileage counter. 112 miles with one bathroom stop later, I pulled into the Quality Inn lot. The drive had been quiet, and a slick in a spot or two. All along I-43, I thought about past drives I had made, mostly with family on vactions. Like the time when I was 15, and we went to Manitowoc for two weeks in the summer of 1984. We stayed at some lake-side vaction cabin-villa place. And now.. almost 20 years later, I was drivng by it on a vaction of a different sort. A planned weekend of debauchery and cheese. What I didnt know, probably hadnt even conceived of, was how cleansing it would be for me.
SO, like I said, I got to the hotel, checked in, and went to my room.7:54. Two hours until karaoke, and my first glimpse of bad bar. What now? I had no idea what name Jen's group had checked in under, nor for that matter what *any* of their last names were, so I couldnt call the desk to try and find their room. I knew the sleigh ride was happening, and then likely some food of some kind... hmmm ... WOW this TV has HBO!!
click...
Actually... I changed into what I figured would be good for a Karaoke place. And... nervous... I went down to the desk with my email from Weets about how to get Mike's. The guy pulled out a tourist map, and pointed the direction like he had allready done it recently. My guess... Jen, Kari, Kelly had hit him up for the same, although I never did find out. 8:25 now. Food?( In retrospect... I definitly should have. I stopped drinking alot when I started dating Kate. Not that I was ever really a fish... but I do have some drunkenings from years ago)
Hmmm where to go for said food. Do I want to look like a giant idiot?? and... go to the desk again? Nope... I went for a smoke instead. Since I had a non-smoking room, I had to step outside. As I walked thru the halls of the hotel, I noticed a group of three women about my age, and wondered slightly to myself, if that was them....J & K & K. Two of them were blond, which Jen had commented she had become, and one gave a weird, almost-recognition glance... but no. None of them were. Which I am OOOOHHH so happy about. All three gave off the "We are SOO hot, and SOO much better than you" vibe. The second thing I hate in other people (yes, my faults are legion... as in a lack of patience) is 'Tude. And they had it.. big time. So I smoked outside, secretly hoping that those three were not part of the group.... Then ... checked my room again... made sure I had everything I might need whilst out on the town, and... sat down on the bed. 9:15..... nervous much? :D It was like molasses trickling down the side of the freezer, waiting for the time to move around to 9:45, the arbitrary time I had figured would give me enough time to find the bar, park, walk to the bar, and then work up the nerve to walk in. In the interveening space, however, I did get to see the last performance of Jerry Orbach (RIP, you will be missed) on Law and Order's new series. So... I got to Mikey's... parked... Got out.. locked the car.... and FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKK... i forgot to go to the (wink-wink) TYME machine. giant eye roll in the lot behind Mikey's.. loud ARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH which causes locals to look in my direction, thereby making me nervouser. No choice but to turn around, and, get back in the car, and go find an atm. Drive... drive... drive... its 10. whip the car around, head back to hotel. Park in the drive up lot, blocking in three vehicles, run in nearly dying on the thin coating of black ice in the parking lot. Cash machine in lobby. :|:|:|:|:| Head back to Mikey's. Walk in... big group of fun looking people, carousing and having a good time. Do I step up, defeat my fear, and say hello, Im Paul aka SDG?? NO!! Hide in my oversize leather jacket at the bar??? YES!!!!! What do I see when I look up and look around?? A seriously drunk guy... singing something unintelligible on satge at the mic.. (not that I sing well, but... know what I mean?) with his zipper down. Not down a little bit... but... down the whole way and kinda parted. A guy at the bar (not part of the D-land group, but cool all the same)... obviously aware that I was nervous about something, spoke up "Just what you want to see when you come to karaoke. A drunk guy in an army fatigue like shirt, dirty jeans, and his fly open." It was perfect timing. I laughed with him. And ordered a beer. Also in retrospect... BAD idea. Bass Ale to be exact. Which i prefer to regular beer. While drinking it though... from over my shoulder... a kind of cough... "paul... " then PAUL!!
RESCUED!!!!!
It was ofcourse, Weetabix. She waved me over... and immediately introduced me to Chauffi, then "The Jason".
interlude
Years ago, I used to frequent/ karaoke in a small bar outside Chicago. It was a small sports bar, and the DJ had a large, very loyal following. Best Damn Karaoke DJ.... EVER. Sings like nobody's business. Has props, like guitar necks and drum sticks and giant sunglasses (for elton john tunes) and pretend piano keys for the singers to use... at the time Karaoke was just hitting the states, and wasnt a big thing yet. BUT there was Fred. Fred sings a wide variety of tunes himself. Fred is talented... sings well and is instaneously funny... but sings songs like ... Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand "You Dont Bring Me Flowers " and sings both parts... BOTH... and sings them well. AND holds up a flip mask... one side Neil... the other Barbara, and flips it for each voice. No joke.. almost as much fun as the Bad Bar, all wrapped up in one person. He was amazing. Fred would pull people from the crowd up on stage to participate as an "act" during certain standard tunes... This was Fred's side job. Fred is actually a Social Worker in the city. Yup... downtown Chicago, the projects. Karaoke DJ is his stress relief. Anyway, as singers Fred's followers were fair to middlin'. One or two ringers. And I was a follower. I am flatter than a dime pancake at a texas flop house. But I was able during my time under Fred's tutelage, to hold a tune, and be able to entertain a crowd from the stage, and have fun doing it. And to recognize talent when I see it. That was 10 plus years ago.
end interlude
SO.. on stage at that moment... when I sat down with Weetabix.... biensoul who was followed by TranceJen. I actually shuddered with pleasure they were so good, and I thought and said to Weets ...before my four other beers... (yah.. beer lightweight), damn... Im never singing here... ever... WELLLL we know how that ended. And they didnt run away either!!! (Thanks for that btw folks) I met the rest of the people.. some who were already drunk, :D, found I had missed a proposal (DAMN!), and was warmly accepted into the D-Land GB minicon group. There was alot of amazing singing that night. Trance and 'Soul both sang again ... A LOT OF GREAT SINGING. And the alcohol flowed freely. (not as freely as at the bad bar). Weets sang a couple of times too. You know... I dont think I have metioned before I love to sing ... even though I know I am flat... I still sing... the car... cleaning... while drunk in bars... so I was waaaayyyy impressed. Chauffi sang Punk Rock Girl... LuvaBeans sang several times, and ended the night singing "Time After Time" (thanks Beanie-One, its one of my favs...) Read Weet's entry... the Dland group kicked BUTT!!! And that was Karaoke at Mike's.
end part one.
