The next morning, after having stumbled into my room the previous night, and barely covering myself, 8:30 rolled around.... 8:30 in the morning. And ... I was awake. Now, normally, by this point on a Saturday morning, the boys are up, and the usual morning wrangling at one another is going on. But on this particular morning it wasn’t the "Do you think you can fit the other half of the cereal box in that bowl...." coming from my oldest boy's mouth, that generally stirs me on the weekend mornings. No... first, it was the loud silence. Then roar of the Evil Hangover Dwarves pounding on their anvil's in my head.
"hunnnnhhhh......." I moaned. While the moan itself was low, it rumbled the dwarves and they pounded their hammers in my head even harder. I stumbled from my bed to the bathroom, in search of the bucket of ice I had gotten the night before. Now reduced to water, I picked it up, swung back towards the shower behind me, and dumped it over myself... HOOOOO!!!!! OMG... OH MYYYY F*ING GAWD.... COOOOLLLLLLDDDDDDD...... WOOOOOOO....
help... oh help...
I would just like to say, that dumping formerly ice, now cold water over your head and upper torso... not so smart.
a shower..... must get in the shower... the shower with two handles to control the temperature, versus the normal dial-type appendage that usually grows out of a shower. But no. This shower had one for hot... one for cold.... I stood there and shivered.... and just turned them on........ and yup... turned them the wrong way.... more cold. I almost actually cried right there. Not only were the dwarves hammering their anvils every few minutes or so, but now my blood was pounding thru my veins. Hammering my head due to a rush of adrenaline from the freezing water. The pain was blinding.
....help... oh help...
20 minutes or so later... after getting the shower under control, and my eyes finally open all the way, I was out of the bathroom. The dwarves now seeming to come from outside my head... my cell phone beeped at me. I had missed a call. Thinking that it was Mindy, (the boys Aunt),and worried that I would have to go home in this condition, I checked my voicemail. Nope... :D It was Hausfrau... She wondered if I was up and around yet, and did I know where coffee was. Well.. In getting dressed, I found that I forgotten my antiperspirant. :| ohhh joy. Now I need to go out.... into the sun.... I could only imagine the pain that would emanate from the ultra-bright light of the sun. On top of the damn dwarves who were now screaming, and sounding like splashes in a pool, on top of the anvils and hammers, I was about to suffer the arrows of UV rays going straight to my brain. Oh Joy. However, when Kari called, it didn’t seem to be so bad a prospect anymore, and she offered to drive too. How could I beat that? I finished getting dressed and gathered up my wallet, door key, and my glasses. As I got closer to the door however, the dwarves thundered in my head, and the floor actually shook with their passing. Upon opening my room door... I discovered that the dwarves.... were actually alive. No, I wasn’t hallucinating.... it was small children.... running ....up and down the hall.... passed my door.... and screaming and splashing in the swimming pool.
And. It. Was. Echoing. In. My. Head.
The hotel swam a little in my vision, and I remembered Kari was waiting for me. I carefully put one foot in front of the other, and moved away from the open area of the pool room, and then down the stairs towards the front of the hotel. I only got turned around once. I made it to car.. greeted Kari as best I could in my condition.... and.. we drove around looking for a 'Bucks, and a Walgreen’s. We never did find either. BUT we did have a lot of fun. We found a Sav-a-Lot which was oh so inexpensive, while at the same time being oh so not helpfull.... and drove past Mikey's. AND!!!! We saw the Bamboo Room... proud displayer of The Sign "Nude But Nice". We laughed our asses off and were dying for a camera so we could mark our adventure. It wasn’t long after spotting that, however, that we came across Streu's Pharmacy. Sure that we could each find what we were looking for in there, we pulled into the lot. And... inside.. it was... a Pharmacy. Not like a convenience store.... but... an actual pharmacy.
We headed back to Saint Brendan’s. Hamburgers..... food.... I hadn’t really eaten anything since yesterday's lunch. I was really looking forward to them. Kari drove again, thank the lord in high heaven...... AND... riding in the car with us was Biensoul. We talked movies... and ice fishing.... and jousting.... and Ren' Fairs.... and La Cross. Did you know... La Cross is the official "TEAM" sport of Maryland? Neither did I. Did you know also that Jousting... yes the kind with horses and lances... is the official "INDIVIDUAL" sport of Maryland? NEITHER DID I!!!!! I was sooo amazed!!! It is actually so cool, becsause Jess is soo much fun, there is no way to not enjoy being around her.
I must interject here, that, when you plan on a trip to visit friends, and drunkenings are going to be a regular thing, that sunglasses are a necessity. If you don’t own a regular pair, then do like ZZ Top says. "....go get yourself some cheap sunglasses...." OH YAH.High Maintenance Hamburgers was an interesting mix of Townie/Redneck atmosphere, and Wisconsin memorabilia, along with good company. How cool is this... I got to sit with The Jason, Scotty Boom Boom, Penny, and Esteban. It was like getting to watch a Weetabix diary entry, live and in person. And..... they are alll soooo cool!!! We talked about how evolution has brought us to the brink of destruction... in the form of Middle Aged Snowmobilers who ride up on their machines to a bar... get drunk, and then ride off at 60 miles an hour. All with out fear of getting a ticket, arrested or even stopped. It was Esteban who commented that "a place to park snow mobiles was the first thing he looked for in a Hamburger Joint/ Bar. He also told me, that, the reason the burgers taste soooo good, wasn’t just the butter they are cooked in, but the fact that pans they are fried in have twice been rescued from fires!!!
So the groups broke up some at that point, some heading off to Lambeau Field, others to various other locations. I myself, needed sleep. Desperately. I might have been able to cat-nap it in the car to Lambeau, if we were just going to go to the Supper Club and call it a night. BUT BAD BAR WAS COMING... Absolutely so if I was going to try and go. Which I new I was. While I am a wall flower... I do like to hit the bars, and carouse with the best of them. I got back to the hotel, and most of the nervousness had worn off. But... not the star-struck ness. Part of the reason I came, was so I could get away. Some of it was to hang out in Weetland. But, also so that I could meet the authors of diaries I like to read. I enjoy the stories they tell, as well as how finely crafted the entries are.... On the surface, I may *seem* like a suave, debonair, Southern Gentleman. But..I'm actually just faking it most of the time, because inside my internal monologue is going... "Idiot... stoopid ungraceful idiot.... with the occasional part of an imagined conversation that I had with someone nearby.FOR INSTANCE..... When I was ridding to lunch...we passed a billboard that mentioned something about evening or something. At the time Jess was discussing the merits of ice fishing with Kari. In my head, I mentioned that the sign reminded me of an upcoming charity event in Chicago. In my head I went... "Hey!! That sign over there reminds me about the upcoming Thru the Dark ( DOT ) org charity walk to raise money and awareness about suicide. "
What really happened was.... a break in the fishing discussion came... five minutes after the sign... and I said "Have either of you ever heard of thruthedark.org? They are having a charity walk in Chicago. I’m thinking of getting a group together to do the event...." A pause from the front seat as if... Ok. And? "OH...They are a charity group who raises money to support suicide awareness and prevention around the country." See?? Not socially graceful. OR.... a shorter version of a similar event.... Friday night at Mikey's, right after I sat down with Weets... in my head I went... how am I going to fit in here.... and... out of my mouth comes... "OH WOW!!! All the guys are wearing glasses!!!! Check that out Weets... all of us men are wearing glasses!!! I shall note this in my diary.... " And an ok.. hmmm.., from Weets, who I am sure at that point was wondering if she had brought a crazy person into the fold of her family and friends.
So... many of you got emails from me, and some of them, while I had the opportunity to edit, still NOT socially graceful. Others... right to the heart of things. And some of you.. no mail. Not because I have nothing to say to you.... but merely because I think I might not have been "whacko" in front of you.
OK... soo... The afternoon melted into a nap, which then brought me, feeling mostly myself again....to Eve's. I got to drive a group of people to the restaraunt, composed of Mare and Kevin&Min. We talked geography and coastal deserts. After ordering dinner... I played the Marry, F*ck, or Kill game. Which I hadn’t ever played before. AND!!!! I got to sit next to Jen!!!! And across from Eric. Jen it was too, who gave me my choices in the game....Check this list... we had just laughed our a$$es off about the gap in Condy Rice's teeth....SO she was the first choice.. followed by Flavy Flave (sp), and :| Danny DeVito. :| Now.. I am 100% straight... sooo this list was rough for me. I killed off Flave right off... because.. honestly he is insane, and not the good kind. Not only is that hard for me to deal with on a personal level, BUT... i get the feeling from watching him that he would try to do it to me first. I'd marry Ms. Rice because there is money in politics, and... she would be off doing government things which would leave me time for whatever I want. BUT, that also leaves me with... DeVito. Sheesh... have sex with Danny??? NOT BY CHOICE..... I get a strong "Return To Deliverance" from that situation.... With DeVito as the weird Hill Billy come down from the mountain, and me as the guy from the suburbs out in the woods.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....
Pardon me for a moment while I go hurl for the next hour or so....
Anyway.... I passed off the question to Eric, and gave him the options "Hillary Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, or Jennifer Flowers....". The dinner was ok. I had chopped sirloin, with a twice baked potato, and like Weets said... it was mediocre. BUT... i was still hyped anyway!!!! BAD BAR WAS COMING!!!!! Like my bed time tonight. :D night all....
