I have a business that is failing. See I made this mistake and let my ideas about capitalizing on the hopes and dreams of the poor and lowly, but, they stiffed me. At the moment I just can’t figure out how to use Word to make a resume and my sons are about to go off to college. I need approximately 58.8 billion so that my sons and heirs will never have to worry about anything ever again. I promise this time I will be smarter about how I use it. I won’t let the greed get me this time. I will diversify my holdings like I know I am supposed to and make sure that my company’s key holdings are never again in jeopardy, but mostly I just cant take the idea of being poor, so please write me a check for the above named amount and let me get back to the beach.

Thanks Ever So Much

Signed,

Noble American Businessman